“Don’t call it a dream, call it a plan”
I read this quote this morning and it says almost everything about how I feel about my life right now.
I wake up some mornings and wonder who I am and who I am trying to be, what else I want from my life or whether this is all that it is every going to be. And then I feel like a fake in my own boots. It is almost as if I am waiting for someone to call me out on a bullshit construction of what my life should be like – or rather what it is.
But this is it. Well, today this is it. Tomorrow it might be different however I am pretty much the only person that can make it any different. Except Lotto, Lotto can make it lots different. But Lotto isn’t drawn on a Monday night so we will just move on from that right now.
I’m going to start writing my blog diary posts more – because I miss them, I miss the writing and photographing daily life just for pleasure. I’ll just have a tutu with it and see how I can fit it into this site because I believe all of this, the pet photos and the recipes and the once a month round ups are all part of who I am. I’m quite aware that some of my clients might come across the Diary posts and think twice about who they are hiring but hay, at the end of the day they will find out who I am anyways. I can’t rock up to a Session and NOT be me!
Part of this post comes out of necessity. I feel a lot clearer and more centred and even organised when I write things down.
This weekend just gone I had my first day of what I called nothing. Nix and I lay around on the couch (Ken was away with the kids) and we watched Netflix – but I still edited and emailed. Yes, to me thats a nothing day.
I work a Monday to Friday job, a 9 to 5’er. And in the evenings I run my business. And in the weekends I run my business. And up until Saturday, I hadn’t had a “day off” in about 2 months. But you have to know, I’m not really complaining (maybe just a little), I know that in order to get a head, to execute my plan, I have to put the hours in. I just still want to be me whilst I am doing it.
Who am I? I am;
- Moving out of my beautiful house (and losing my home studio) to move into a house at the Zoo and save a few thousand dollars
- Absolutely and completely in love with my dog
- Wishing I had more time for the man who does the things I need and all the things I want
- Mindful that at the moment I choose potato chips over swimming laps
- Quietly comparing everyone else’s work to mine
- Enthusiastically building a Pinterest board about the beautiful house that I hope to one day (some day soon) build
- Wondering what I will do when I finish the last episode of Sons of Anarchy
- Drinking more beers than I need to, enjoy wine more than I should
- Procrastinating about starting to pack up the house
- Trying to find my Chocolate Chilli recipe from last winter
- Very very proud of the article just published in New Zealand D-Photo magazine about Pet Photography – featuring me!
- Taking one day at a time and making that day count in at least one way
