I have had more than one go at writing this post this morning and I am still unsure about the title.
I can’t decide between What It Is or What It Should be but then I found this image … It Is What It Is. So it is What It Is.
I had to stop myself this morning. I needed a slap.
One of those upside the head jobs where you rattle your own brain.
There was a nasty little imp in my ear trying to convince me that all was not right with my world.
I have had a lovely weekend away this past weekend.
I’m really lucky to be able to share my passion – scuba diving – with the guy I really like. We stayed in a gorgeous cabin up in the bush in Northland and we hung out with my lovely friends and laughed alot (more on all this later). However this stupid imp started in on me yesterday – when I was dead dog tired – and I let it get to me. Why couldn’t I just silence it and continue appreciating what I have instead of wondering when it is all going to turn sour?
Is it only girls that feel this way?
Am I still allowing the cheater of my past to invade the happiness of my present?
Why am I waiting for something to go wrong?
I’ll admit I get jealous.
There might be someone who “likes” his Facebook updates too often.
I’ll admit that I get disappointed.
When he is a little too tired to wait up with me while I get sleepy.
I’ll admit that I am still insecure.
That I think he is with me until something better comes along.
But then I give myself that slap.
Flick the imp out of my ear and realise I am not giving him enough credit. Or I am giving too much to the past.
I finally shared my issue with the imp with him this morning and he talked through it with me. I’d made it hard for him this morning too – he’s wandering around wondering what he did wrong. That’s just silly. As he so bluntly put “enough of this, we won’t enjoy the time we do have together”.
So true.
Today is here. Yesterday has been and gone. We have tomorrow to look forward to.
