“the spaces between your fingers were created so that another’s could fill them in”

i dont often write soppy posts.  and i dont often get all “woe is me” either.  its much more like me to have a bit of a rant, let out a few really choice swear words and then get on with what life is really about – having fun and being with my friends.
over the last couple of days, i have been feeling a little blue.  and what i did start writing this morning was a birthday/christmas wish list post but it sort of segwayed off into something completely diffferent.

i have come to the realisation that its *that* time in my life when i notice that there are more funerals, births and weddings.  especially the weddings.  and the engagement parties.  and the housewarmings for the “we’ve bought a house together” peoples.

i’m happy for you all!  really i am.
but i am still thinking about myself.

see, its been about six years since i was in a relationship worthy of any mention at all – and its not that i exactly miss that – thats the the relationshipy stuff – what i do miss the intimacy, and the conversation, and the cuddles especially now that i am completely surrounded by couples.  those friends that i just want to hang out with – they are all coupled up.  so i get scheduled between dinners, family events, couple time, movie time and sleep ins.  yayy!
it might be the fact that my birthday is coming up or it might be that i had recently fallen in serious like with the wrong guy (and am still smarting rather hard from that little bit of hurt) or it might just be that its hump day.
after a while, you cant help thinking that its you.  that theres something wrong with you.
i know thats not true and i also know that its not right to keep telling myself that its all over for me and i will never find someone.  the correct truth is that i just havent met him yet.

and when i do meet him, there will be certain signs that he is the right man for me  …

number one.
he is going to care about my needs – my happiness and whats important to me and hes going to be a part of them.  fair call that he is going to be confident and charming but he will not be self absorbed.

number two.
he will treat me well and with respect and consideration.

number three.
he treats other people well.  my man will be nice to my friends, my mom and my cat.

number four.
hes in well balanced emotional state.

number five.
he has a good relationship with his family.  no mommys boys as i will be the number one woman in this mans life.

number six.
hes mature.  i’ve dated men that are younger than me – and i’ve lived with them too.  i know this time around it will be different.  this man will demonstrate his maturity on an intellectual and emotional
level.  he will follow through on his responsibilities and his promises.

number seven.
he has a stable career – either a good job or he is pursuing an education.

number eight.
hes got to have some passion.  i know this sounds like a cliche but having goals and dreams for his future and being committed to pursuing them is damn attractive and its also encouraging for me too!

number nine.
he has good health and habits.  he takes care of himself!
i dont have many deal breakers – but a couch potato is one of them.  ideally, i would love to be with someone who shares my lifestyle – yes, scuba diving, yoga, kickboxing, being out and about.

number ten.
hes on my level mentally and emotionally.  he keeps me on my toes!  he teaches me things and can introduce me to new ideas and concepts.

so unless all my numbers are up, he might catch my eye, but he wont hold my gaze.

and thats the equivalent of a rant and some swearing.  now its time for fun .. and shopping for my birthday present to myself.